Self-sabotage isn’t a helpful thing to do or keep doing. I doubt many people benefit from it. It doesn’t help anyone achieve their goals or have the opportunity to lead the type of life they would like.
For those ready for change, there are strategies and things that can help get out of self-sabotaging.
#1: Change of Mindset
As I mentioned in last week’s post, having a fixed mindset is one way people sabotage themselves. Seeing themselves less than and in a negative light doesn’t tend to be helpful.
Instead of judging yourself harshly or trying to prove yourself, focus on being kind towards yourself. Each one of us learns and grows at our speed. Focus more on taking one step at a time.
#2: Notice the Negative Thought
Make an effort to notice the negative and self-sabotaging thoughts. What are they saying? When do they tend to come up?
Once you notice them, come up with a rebuttal for that thought. If you find yourself with time, you can always make yourself a list of rebuttals and encouraging thoughts for when these thoughts come up.
#3: Start with Small Changes
Change isn’t always easy and can often take time. It can be quite scary to make big changes.
Sometimes, it’s easier to start with small changes. Think of the changes you want to make and the goals you have. Then, consider what small steps you can take towards those goals and changes.
Doing this can help you build confidence and can become a learning experience.
#4: Remind Yourself of the Good
For those with ADHD, it can be so easy to focus on the negative, our mistakes, our struggles. It’s what we see and what others will usually point out to us.
However, if you take time to think about it, you can probably find something good in your day, or your week. It could be you got a new job recently, or you snuggled with your kid(s)/partner/pet, or you made that phone call you’ve been putting off, or simply that you got out of bed.
If you really think about it, I’m sure you can think of at least one thing.
#5: No One Is Perfect
At the end of the day, we’re all flawed. No one in this world is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has their struggles. That’s part of being human.
For those of us with ADHD, it can be helpful to remind ourselves of these things. That we’re only human, just like everyone else. When we start noticing ourselves compared to others, remember that they too have their own struggles and have also made mistakes.