Motherhood is like a juggling act. There are so many things to do and remember. No matter who you are, being a mom is not always easy. It has a lot of ups and downs. Good days and bad days.
Moms with ADHD will be faced with a different set of challenges on top of it, due to how their brain is wired.
Motherhood requires a lot of organization, time management, and multitasking. There are so many things to do and remember. It’s no longer just about us. It’s also about our spouses/partners and kids, staying on top of activities, bills, appointments, just to name a few.
For those with ADHD, or understand what it is, it can be easy to understand why this can be a huge challenge for moms with ADHD. It can be difficult and challenging to meet our own needs, all on its own, but it can be so much harder when you also have to think of your child(ren)’s needs.
Some of Our Struggles
For those familiar with ADHD, it can be fairly easy to understand why moms with ADHD struggle.
We tend to struggle with remembering appointments, or paying bills, or planning for events, in our own lives. Add one or more kids and in most cases a spouse/partner in the mix, and it’s even harder.
Moms with ADHD still tend to be the ones in charge of managing most things at home. I’m not saying this always the case, but for the most part, many seem to feel that this is the case.
Being the ones to remember appointments, or putting forms in the kids’ school bags, or cooking, just to name a few things.
What doesn’t help is that moms with ADHD try to do it all. We are focused on taking care of our family’s needs and not so much on our own. We also feel like we should be able to manage it all. We’re holding ourselves to high standards and what society expects, rightly or wrongly.
It’s challenging when so many things seem to be a mom’s responsibility and we try to do it all, especially considering that our brain is wired differently.
Impact It Can Have
Considering all of this, it’s so easy to see that all of this will have an impact on us, and not always a positive one. It can leave quite an impact.
It can be so easy to feel like we’re not good enough. That we fall short. As though we’re inadequate.
It’s so easy to feel so overwhelmed by all the responsibilities, things we have to do/remember, etc.
We feel so guilty about these things. So many become so hard on themselves. Most times we’re harder on ourselves than most people are. At least most of the time, I would imagine. I know I am harder on myself than others are, generally.
On top of that, what can make it worse is the concern that our struggles may have on our family, on our spouses/partners, on our kids. Yes, ADHDers are the ones with the disorder and it’s easy to focus on them. However, our loved ones are affected as well. And it’s easy to feel like we’re failing them.
This thought doesn’t always help how we feel about ourselves.
It’s not easy being a mom. No doubt about it. Having ADHD adds some challenges for the moms who have it. It feels like an impossible juggling act.
However, as challenging and impossible as it may feel, there are ways and things that we can do to make it easier for ourselves, spouses/partners, and our kids.
Next week I’ll discuss some strategies that can help moms with ADHD manage a bit easier.