Letting go of ‘should’

For a long time, I had a voice telling me that I should be doing this or that. Telling me that I should be cleaning. Or spend less time on my phone. Or spend more time with my kids.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who experiences this. The endless cycle of ‘shoulding’.

When we start shoulding ourselves, it has more to do with what we think is expected of us rather than we really want. Or even how we truly feel. We feel like we should be better. It’s all about something we learn and have internalized.

These thoughts make us feel worse. It really sucks. I never feel enjoy it.

There are things that we can do to change this.

Start by becoming more aware. Become aware of how often you have these types of thoughts. Try to ask yourself questions about why you think you should do something.

Realize that you think you should do something generally may mean that it’s not something you want to do. ‘Should’ is a form of judgment and it is something that we learn from someone or many someone’s and then internalize it.

These are definitely things that you can do to change this. It’s not easy and it takes time, but it’s possible to change.

Author :


  • I agree with you. Sometimes you just have to let go of somethings.

  • Definitely should is a form of internal judgment. Letting go of them or at least starting to question each one of them will provide bus with a sence of freedom and control.
    Thank you for sharing 🙂

  • I love this! I was taught that “should” is a bad word that needs to be illiminated from our vocabulary. Using “should” is basically saying that we are not enough. That we need to do and be more, which is simply not true. Thank you for sharing!

    • Very well said. I’m glad that you were taught this. I totally agree. Thanks for reading.

  • Such a meaningful post! Totally agree with you. We should be more aware and live in the now. Also, defining our why is important to avoid stressing over things beyond our control. I try to live mindfully as much as I can, though it takes a lot of discipline to keep going x

    • Very well said. It’s not always staying present. But can be so enjoyable and beneficial.

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