Being Kinder on Myself

Over the last few months, I’ve really come to realize how important it is for me to take care of myself and make time for myself. While I’m taking time for myself, I’ve become more aware of my thoughts, what I’m telling myself, and such. Not all of which is positive.

I was realizing that I could be hard on myself. I still held high standards for myself. The self talk going through my mind wasn’t always positive, and it was at least partially due to what I thought I should be doing, the amount of things I should be doing, and such.

Needless to say, I wasn’t like it and decided changes needed to be made. Here are some changes I’ve been working on.

#1: forget those high standards

For a long time, I’ve been comparing myself to others. To other women, other moms, and such. As such, I’ve been setting my standards of myself as though I was neurotypical.

As someone with ADHD, it’s not really realistic to do that. When we ADHDers do this, we are setting ourselves for disappointment and failing.

By realizing that it’s unrealistic to set them so high, I’ve changed my standards for myself. Lower them a little bit to a point where they are a little more realistic and possible for me.

#2: checking with my thoughts and emotions

Now, this can be useful for so many, whether you’re neurotypical or neurodiverse.

Becoming aware of your emotions and thoughts can help you realize so much of what’s going within. What your triggers are, what’s going through your mind, prepare you for future uncomfortable situatios, just to name a few.

You become aware of what’s going, assess what you may want to change or work on, and you are in a better position to do so.

#3: encourage yourself

As nice as it to receive encourage and compliments from others, it doesn’t always happen as often as we may like. I don’t think it may always be good to expect others to do it all the time. This is just my opinion.

Whatever you may think or feel, it can be beneficial to encourage yourself as much as you can. It can help you feel a little better and see things a little differently.

This is something that I’ve been doing recently. Whenever I do something on my to do list, or manage to accomplish a small task that I normally struggle with, for instance, I will take a moment to encourage myself. Whether my husband notices or not, it doesn’t matter. I will take a moment to notice and encourage myself, and not necessarily expect anyone to do this for me.

This has helped me.

#4: making time for myself

This is important for most of us, if not all. This is something that I neglected for a while a few years back, but realized more and more how much I needed it and figured out ways to do so.

Making time for myself helps me recharge my battery. It’s hard to get things done, when you’re battery is low.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, being kinder to ourselves and thinking of our needs as well is important. I used to think that I was selfish for taking time to myself, to admit that I needed time away from my kids, and did feel a little guilty. But over time, I realized that it’s not selfish. We all need to take time for ourselves once in a while. We have needs too.

So, let’s be kind to ourselves.

Author :


  • I’m a mom of four kids and I tend to feel guilty when taking time for myself. Self-care is something I struggle with. Thanks for the reassurance that it’s not a luxury… it’s a necessity! Time to recharge my batteries… 🙂

    • I know how you feel. I used to feel so guilty for taking time for myself, until I realized just how much I needed it. As moms, we need to take of ourselves. We shouldn’t feel guilty. Take care of yourself!

  • Great blog post. I need to work on my own stress management.

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