Don’t tell me to try harder

Kids and adults with ADHD/ADD deal with a lot. We hear a lot of different things. Some good, some not. Some are helpful, others really aren’t. Either way, we hear a lot of different things.

One thing that so many of us have heard is this: “You need to try harder.”

This is something that many of us hear, myself included. Granted, I haven’t heard it often and some hear it more often than I do, but it is still something that I’ve heard and it’s still something that ADHDers/ADDers hear more often that we may like.

There are a few things that I want to clear up about “trying harder.”

I do understand that it may seem as though we aren’t trying hard enough. I understand that it seems as though we might be a bit lazy. I can understand how it may seem for someone who neurotypical.

However, nothing could be farther from the truth. The fact of the matter is we’re trying harder than can be imagined. We are trying so hard to get through the day, to remember things to do, to get a little bit more organized, just to name a few things. We are trying so hard to survive in society. We work really hard to try and not struggle.

We don’t mean to seem lazy. We don’t want to seem lazy. Most of don’t. It seem as though we’re not trying, when the fact of the matter is we really are.

So telling someone with ADHD/ADD to try harder isn’t helpful. It doesn’t help struggle less, or make us work harder.