Here’s a feeling that we all have. Most of us may feel this sense of failure at one point in our lives or at another. Let’s face it, it happens.
However, when someone has ADHD/ADD, it is different. We tend to fail more than our non-ADHD/ADD or neurotypical counterparts. Not that others don’t, but we just face and deal with failure and what comes with it more often. Studies have shown that ADHDers/ADDers receive so many more negative messages than their non-ADHD/ADD counterparts.
We might feel it while we’re at school, when we fail a test, after studying really hard for it, or when we miss a deadline and submit an essay late. Outside of school, we might be late for an appointment, if we remember it at all. We are disorganized and may forget things. Some of the big milestones like buying a house or getting married, we generally achieve a little later in life.
Sometimes, these failures tend us to feel shame and we just feel like failures.
There have been times lately, when I have dropped the ball in some situations and I have felt as though I have failed. I have shame and bad. It has definitely affected my self-esteem, and I’m sure that other ADHDers/ADDers may say the same thing.
It’s hard. It can be really hard, when it seems as though our failures outweigh our successes. It does affect us for sure. It can be tiring to have them pointed out as well.
Let’s face, it has become a part of us. We are used to failing and feeling like a failure. For me, I have grown so accustom to it that there are days when I kind of expect to fail. As ADHDers/ADDers, we kind of grow accustom to failing for the most part. And there are probably people out there, who expect us to fail, which doesn’t really help us.
However, there are things that we can do to change this. And not focus so much on the things that we wish we could change, on all our failures, and all.
One suggestion that I have read, which may be a good one, is to document your failures. Write them down somewhere, whether it’s in a word document on your computer, or a notebook, or somewhere. This way, it gets them all out of your head, you can address the situation where you feel as though you have failed, and you can go back and address the issue. Honestly, this is one that I may try and do. It seems as though it’s a good suggestion, and I can certainly see how it may help someone, in these sorts of situation.
So, as much as we may feel like failures and feel as though failures are a part of our ADHD/ADD lives, it doesn’t mean that we have to let it lead our lives and take over. We might struggle more than others and we might get more negative messages than others, but that doesn’t mean all we do is bad and are failures. There are good things about having ADHD/ADD.
For those who may want to read other articles on this subject, here are a few more.
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