Every relationship needs work. No relationship is perfect. We all need to compromise a little, sometimes. It can be a lot of give and take. Sure, there can be some really great moments, but there can be some that aren’t so pretty. It can be challenging.
Each relationship has its own set of challenges. However, when one or both partners has ADHD/ADD, there can be new or a different set of challenges. ADHD/ADD doesn’t really make it easy for the couple. I’m not saying that it makes it worse than the challenges for couples who don’t have to deal with ADHD/ADD or other mental health problems, but it does seem to bring different sets of challenges, to say the least.
ADHD/ADD certainly does affect my relationship with my husband. I have ADHD/ADD, while he doesn’t. So, it make things challenging and tricky.
He’s organized, while I’m the complete opposite. He has an easy time cleaning, while I really don’t. I either avoid it completely or I don’t really do it well or all of it. He’s pretty organized and has an easier time to organize things, while I’m trying to be.
These are perhaps some things that cause some disagreements between us. As I don’t do as much cleaning and such around here as I should, he does it. I know he gets frustrated about it. He doesn’t necessarily want to nag or remind me or anything. He doesn’t want to remind me, and I don’t necessarily want to hear it and feel kind of bad. We’re on different pages on things like these.
And it seems that other couples where at least one of the partners has ADHD/ADD go through similar things. Although I’m no expert on the subject, it does seem as though ADHD/ADD does cause some disagreements between partners, such as the ones that my husband and I have.
I may not be a doctor, therapist, or anything like that. So, I can’t really help much in these cases. But sometimes a licensed therapist or counsellor can help the couple get through some disagreements, especially if it is really causing a lot of tension.
Sometimes, an ADHD/ADD coach can even help the partner with ADHD/ADD overcome some bad habits or some of their symptoms. A coach can help the ADHDer/ADDer get more organized, or get into better cleaning habits, or whatever else that they need help with.
I think that the key thing is that both partners need to be willing to change and work on their relationship. It’s all well and good to say that the couple can get help and they can work things out. However, if one or both aren’t willing to change, then it doesn’t really help the situation.
There is more to ADHD/ADD and relationships than this, but this is just a glimpse of it. This is a bit of my experience.
If you want to read more on the subject, here are a few other articles.
www.additudemag.com/adhd-divorce-rate-marriage-help
www.additudemag.com/partner-with-adhd
Picture credit Pixabay
