I’m sure that we’ve all experienced shame at one point or another. It is one of those emotions that may come up every once in a while.
However, it seems that, if you have ADHD, shame seems to have a way of creeping up a bit more often. It seems that a lot of people with ADHD do face shame more often than individuals with neurotypical brains.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve forgot something or failed or whatever and felt so ashamed. Why couldn’t I be like other moms? Why can’t I have a neurotypical brain? Why do I struggle so much at simple tasks? I must really be lazy. Maybe I shouldn’t try, because clearly I can’t seem to do simple things.
These are just some things that I’ve said to myself and wondered over the years. And I’m sure that I’m not the only ADHDer who have had these kinds of thoughts. I’m sure a lot of ADHDers can relate.
However, there is one thing that I am going to do this year. And that is: I’m going to let shame and these thoughts take over. I am done feeling ashamed so much of the time and letting negative thoughts take over and take control. Because I don’t want to feel that way, I don’t like those negative thoughts, and deep down, I know that I am a smart and capable woman, wife, and mom, who can get things done.
One way that I’ve started to do to change this is to change the way I think and view certain things. Instead of thinking “I’m horrible at cleaning and I don’t do it right,” I may say “Cleaning is a struggle for me, but I am slowly learning how I can improve.”
I haven’t been doing it for long, but I find that it has helped. I’m looking at it differently, and I’m feeling better about how I do things. It has been helpful for me so far, and I will definitely continue to do this.
I am definitely done with feeling so ashamed of myself. I’m ready to change and improve.
Picture credit: Pixabay