I have learned quite a bit about ADHD/ADD, since I have started writing this blog. Although there is still a lot for me to learn, a lot that I would like to know, I still feel like I’m making progress. It is a good start. I have more knowledge than I did. I still wouldn’t call myself an expert on ADHD/ADD or anything related to the topic. But I still know a thing or two. I feel pretty good about that.
That being said, there’s still a part of me that wishes I had started learning about my ADHD/ADD earlier. Part of me feels as though maybe it might have helped me. Maybe it might have made a difference, if I knew then what I know now.
I know that it’s hard to tell if knowing sooner would make a difference. Learning about ADHD/ADD earlier might have helped me. Maybe it would not have changed a thing. Maybe it wouldn’t have made any kind of difference. I don’t know.
All I know is that I am wondering if it would have made a difference. Maybe I just feel guilty about things, like all the interruptions I’ve done during a conversation, or letting my anger and emotions get the better of me, or all the things that I’ve done and do regret.
Yes, I am sure that the guilt and regret that I am feeling is all normal for individuals with ADHD/ADD, like myself. I know I’ve regretted saying things right after I’ve said them, as I realized I had said things that were impulsive and wasn’t the best way to say it. Not sure how many times this has happened. I’ve lost count years ago. Same with all the times I’ve felt guilty and regretted something.
Point is: If I had a little more knowledge of what ADHD/ADD is and had tools to manage my symptoms, would it have helped? Would it have made a difference? Maybe. Maybe things would have been a bit different.
At the end of the day, I don’t know if it would have changed anything, and I can’t change the past. I can’t time travel. I can’t change what I have done or said in the past. I can’t do anything about it now. I can only focus on the present and look ahead. All we can really do is learn from our mistakes and just keep moving forward.
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