Being a mom isn’t easy. There’s a lot to do. A lot to remember. No matter how many kids you have, there are challenges, ups and downs, and a whole lot of other things involved. It is exhausting. It really is. I know I have found myself exhausted more days than not. Yes, it is worth it, but it doesn’t mean that I always enjoy it.
Having ADHD hasn’t always helped. It has brought a different set of challenges. A set of challenges that may differ from other moms, who don’t have ADHD. I’m not saying worse or better or anything like that. I’m just saying that it’s different.
I’ll admit that the reality of being a mom with ADHD has surfaced. I have been reminded of this a bit this week. And I’ll admit that some of these challenges have affected me emotionally.
There are quite a few things that are challenging.
1- Organization. I’m really not the most organized person. Getting the kids ready in the morning is such a challenge. I’m all over the place. I do manage to be on time for the bus and such. But I’m usually looking for things. Going up and down the stairs. Their snow pants, coats and such are all over the place. It’s chaos.
2- Planning. I don’t have an easy time planning some things. Like meals. I’ll start making them or thinking about it at the last minute.
3- Forgetfulness. Yes, I do forget things. I’ll forget to bring a toy for my kids for show and tell. I’ll forget to send my kids with gloves. I’ll forget so many other things, as well, which I have now forgotten about. I have forgotten other things, and I forgotten those things now.
4- Staying focused. I know I need to stay focused on tasks such as cleaning, but let’s face it, cleaning can be dull and if something is dull, an ADHDer is more likely not to do it at all. And when you have kids, that leads to an even messier house.
These are just some tasks that we do need to do as moms, but tasks that we struggle with if we have ADHD/ADD. Sure, these are things that you may struggle with, even if you don’t have ADHD. However, it seems that you’re more likely to struggle with if you do have ADHD/ADD. And these are things that I do struggle with, on a daily basis, or every other day.
And I’ll admit that this does sometimes cause me to feel guilty. Often. I wish I could do better.
Apparently, I’m not the only mom with ADHD/ADD to feel guilt more frequently. It seems that this is a common thing
for us moms dealing with ADHD/ADD. It does bring a lot of stress onto us, which isn’t always good, as it can cause tension at home within the family.
As much as I have accepted my ADHD/ADD and have found ways to adjust, it’s still not easy. I do struggle with organizing things, dealing with my emotions, and just managing it all. I know that I am doing my best and that’s all I can do, but guilt and self-doubt does still creep up and I do end up feeling bad, even though I probably should. It’s hard. On so many different fronts. And I know I’m not the only one feeling this way.
There are a few things that we do need to remember, when we’re struggling, or feeling guilty, or feeling low, or whatever else we’re feeling.
I think that the biggest thing for us to do is to let go of any expectations that we have. Sure, there are still things that we need to do. However, maybe we should lower our expectations a little. I’m not saying we shouldn’t get anything done or shouldn’t get organized or whatever else we should do. But we should make some more realistic goals for ourselves. It’s okay to just do our best, and do what we can. It’s okay to not be perfect.
As hard as it can be sometimes, I think I have to accept that I’m not perfect and that I do and will struggle. So what if I forget something occasionally? It’s not necessarily the end of the world. At the end of the day, all I can do is the best that I can.
For those who would like to read more on the subject, here are some other articles.
Picture credit Mine