I don’t know if I can do this

Let’s face, we all go through difficult times and wonder if we can do it. We all go through periods when our self-esteem is low. It happens to a lot of us. However, for those of us with ADHD/ADD, it is slightly different. Our self-esteem is affected differently from those who don’t have ADHD/ADD.

Poor self-esteem is certainly an issue for many kids with ADHD/ADD. And perhaps even for adults with ADHD/ADD. We struggle with so much. We struggle at school, at work, with chores at home. We struggle socially. We struggle with so many things, and it is no wonder that sometimes our self-esteem does suffer. Maybe saying ‘sometimes’ may be a slight understatement.

It is hard to work so hard at work or school, for instance, and not complete the work successfully, or not complete it as well as we would like. We feel like we’ve just failed. And this does affect our self-esteem. We feel like we can’t do it. Sometimes, even just say to ourselves that we aren’t smart. As untrue as it may be, it is just how we feel. We feel that we can’t do it, and we’re just dumb.

Let’s face it, having ADHD/ADD can be a struggle at times. We struggle with the simplest things, and it is hard when it doesn’t feel like we’re achieving them as well as we should or would like.

I know I’ve struggled with self-esteem. As a kid, I would often wonder why I couldn’t get good grades, despite studying so hard. I would wonder what was wrong with me. I definitely didn’t feel good about myself. Thankfully, I did find out what was wrong. Getting diagnosed helped, for sure.

I would have to say that I do still kind of struggle with self-esteem. Although the things I struggle with now are different from those from when I was a kid, I do still struggle with simple things. Like planning for things, cleaning, making sure my kids have a clean face before we leave, and things like that. Some of my struggles may seem really small and easy to deal with for some, but for me it’s different. They are struggles. I do feel bad over the smallest things. I guess I still compare myself to others. Only this time, it’s to other parents and how they seem to manage, rather than other students.

Perhaps this isn’t the best thing to do, but it can be difficult not to compare.

For someone with ADHD/ADD, we do need to feel as though we’re successful, whether it’s a school, at work, or socially. And we also hope to have someone supporting us, someone there to be our cheerleader, in a way. If there is something missing, it can be difficult for the ADHDer/ADDer to feel good about themselves. It can affect our self-esteems, if we don’t have someone supporting us, for instance.

These are some things that can certainly help. There are certainly other things that can help as well. However, these are just some of things that do help our self-esteem, or can affect it negatively, if one or more of these aspects are missing. Granted, we don’t always have a say in how our lives go, or who stays in our lives and support us, but we do still have some control.

For those of us who are adults with ADHD/ADD, there are still some things that we can do. Finding a career that suit us and interest us may be one thing. Perhaps not always the easiest thing to do, but it is still one that we can try and do. Find our best qualities and use them to find a career that we’re good at. It is also important to have some people who can support us.

For those who have kids with ADHD/ADD, there are tools you can use to help them with their self-esteem. For one thing, make sure you praise them. When you notice them doing something good, praise them. They’ve been playing well for some time? Praise them. They did something nice for someone else? Mention it. This is one thing. Find ways to allow your kids to show their strengths. Sit down with them and help them find their strengths, if they need a little help with it.

Let’s jut remember that we are intelligent people, and do have things to contribute. Yes, we do face so many challenges, but we can do it.

Here are some articles to read for further information.
www.additudemag.com/self-esteem-must-come-from-within/
www.additudemag.com/parenting-help-adhd-children-low-self-esteem/
www.additudemag.com/i-believe-in-you-how-to-vanquish-a-childs-low-self-esteem/

Picture credit Pixabay

3 Replies to “I don’t know if I can do this”

  1. My husband had ADHD. He’s great at many things though and doesn’t usually feel this way, however, he does have a hard time keeping a long conversation and will usually get distracted. He doesn’t like when people point it out because he can’t help it. It’s taught me a lot in the 4 years I’ve known him! Thank you for sharing 😊😊

    1. Not everyone feels like this. Only some. I do get distracted too during long conversation. It is unintentional. I’m glad that you read it.

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