Being a parent isn’t easy. It’s really hard work. I’m sure that those of you reading this, who are parents, may agree. At least, the parents I know probably would. Don’t get me wrong is extremely rewarding, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t come with its own challenges and difficulties.
Now, although I can’t talk about what it’s like to be a dad or the challenges dads face or anything, I can talk about being a mom. I can talk about being a mom and my experiences as such. I do have a little more experience with it and have a little more knowledge. So, I’ll stick with that. Before I begin, I just want to say that I’m not trying to say one parent’s role is harder than the other, or that one parent is lazy, or anything like that. I’m simply making some observations, not judgements or anything to that effect. So, I just want to make that clear.
Moms nowadays still have their own set of responsibilities. Even in families where both spouses share tasks around the house and with the kids equally, there are still things that seem to be more a part of the mom’s role.
For most moms, cleaning the house, or remembering to put a signed form in your child’s school back, might be easy to do and remember. No problem. It is done before you can count to three. However, for a mom with ADHD/ADD, like myself, it’s really not that easy. It isn’t as simple as counting to three. For someone who struggles with disorganization, difficulty focusing, remembering important things, and such, remembering your child’s form for a field trip, for instance, is and can be a challenge.
I have struggled with the simplest things. I have forgotten to wash my kids’ faces before leaving the house more often than I care to admit to. There have been times I have forgotten about the laundry until an hour or two later. Getting my kids ready weekday mornings is a huge struggle. Weekday mornings means getting three kids ready, one lunch ready and packed, breakfast for three kids, four people dressed, one kid off on a bus, and the other two dropped off at daycare. And that’s just a summary. I have probably forgotten something, which wouldn’t be the first time. Although I do have a routine, they can still be overwhelming. Making sure I get everything done isn’t easy.
This is just a small picture of how it is for me. A mom with ADHD/ADD. And I can say that it is scary and overwhelming. Some moms have their act down, but if you’re mom with ADHD/ADD, like me, you might not. I know I don’t. My eldest is 6 ½, and I’m still not sure what I’m doing. I might have things a little more under control, but it’s a struggle and a challenge every day. I might not forget show and tell, but I do still have a difficult time with other things, like making sure I make appointments.
It really isn’t easy to juggle so many things at once. At least, it isn’t for me. It can be challenging to get my kids ready, make them breakfast, and make a lunch for my eldest, while also trying to have conversations with my kids. Then, I also have to make sure that I’m not forgetting anything. Some mornings are easier than others, but it can still be tricky all the same.
There are ways to manage things and organize, as a mom with ADHD/ADD. I’m certainly not saying it’s impossible to do, or that we shouldn’t do. Much like everything else with ADHD/ADD, we just need to do some research and find ways to handle everything. For instance, if cleaning is a task that is disliked beyond belief, then there are some options. If you are able to afford a cleaning lady, then this might be an option. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner who is good with tidying and such, like myself, then maybe that person can help a bit. I know it does give me a bit of motivation to do some, when I do see others do some. Not always, but sometimes. If neither of these are possible, then it might be time to look into other possibilities.
Thankfully, there are some resources out there for moms with ADHD/ADD, like myself. Sometimes, we just need to admit to ourselves that we need help, just like everyone else. Whether you’re a mom with ADHD/ADD or not, it’s okay to admit that we can’t do it by ourselves and we need help. We all need help from time to time. It can be sometimes when you have ADHD/ADD and don’t want to admit that you need help. It can be sometimes easier to pretend we can do it, just like everyone else. But at the end of the day, if you need help, I’m sure there is someone out there, who can help. You just need to ask. There is no shame in asking for help.
If you would like to read a little more on the subject, here are a few more articles.
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