My Reasons

So, up until now, I’ve pretty much just focused on the aspects of ADHD/ADD. However now I’d like to discuss something a little different. A little more personal. And that topic is: why I am writing a blog about ADHD/ADD. Well, there’s quite a few reasons.

First, let me tell you a little bit about my experience.
As I mentioned, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 12. After a few years of just struggling with attention, not being able to complete tasks, struggling with my grades, and so much more, it was a relief to know that it wasn’t really me. It wasn’t my fault. So, then I started high school, began taking medication for my ADD, and things got easier. I could focus in class, complete tasks, and my grades were so much better than they had been. I felt good. Things were good and under control. I didn’t really talk about my ADD. It wasn’t a subject that was really discussed. I wouldn’t say that it was because it was a taboo subject or anything. I’m not fully sure why, but it’s just not something I remember discussing much with my parents. I didn’t mention anything to friends, because I was a little embarrassed. Back then I wasn’t ready to admit to having ADD. Although I know I could talk to my parents about it, I didn’t really feel the need to, and they didn’t really bring it up. Not sure why. Just the way it was.
Things were pretty good and not to difficult. Until I went to university and moved into residence. I was then completely on my own. I was looking forward to it, although I didn’t anticipate the challenge of living on my own and being in university, as an ADDer. I struggled with new things that I didn’t really have to face before, like time management, organization, planning, and just remembering to submit things on time. It wasn’t easy. I was struggling with pretty much everything. Things that should completely easy for a young adult. Because I didn’t talk about my ADD to anyone, and didn’t do research of my own on the subject, I was pretty much in the dark about these new struggles and how my ADD was tide in with these challenges. Thankfully, I still managed to finish and get my BA. I’m not always fully sure how I managed, but I am definitely grateful that I did. Somehow, I made it.
Fast forward a few months after graduation, my eldest daughter was born. So, now I was a mom, which does come with new experiences and challenges. And those experiences mixed with ADD can have its ups and downs.
Now, 6 years after that, I have three kids, 6, 4 1/2, and 3. I have a lot on my plate. Taking care of kids isn’t always easy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and am so grateful to have them in my life and to be their mom. I wouldn’t trade any of it. That being said, raising kids does have its challenges as well. Add ADHD/ADD into the mix and it’s a whole different thing. Put together, it hasn’t always made day-to-day life easy to be able to manage. Some days have been easier than others, though. But there have been days when I’ve gotten upset at them over the small things, and felt guilty afterward. Getting ready in the mornings, before school and daycare, is a workout, between making lunch, getting everyone ready, and making sure that I have everything. I’m not saying that non-ADHDers/ADDers don’t struggle with these things sometimes, but when you do have it, it’s every morning of the week.

Now, I’ll go back to the point for this post. Why am I writing this blog? Why am I writing about ADHD/ADD? I guess it all comes down to this: Although I’ve had ADD for as long as I can remember, I still don’t know a whole lot about it. There is a lot that I would like to learn, and I would like to share what I’m learning with others. I want to talk about it. I want to share experiences. At the end of the day, I think that’s what it’s all about.
I’ve been in the dark for a long time about what ADHD/ADD is and how it is affecting my life, in more ways than one. So, it’s time for me to learn about ADHD/ADD. Maybe it’s something that I should have done a long time ago, but I didn’t. So, I’m doing it all now. I guess it’s better a little late than never. And I guess that’s why I am doing it now. I want to know and it’s time for me to do so. It’s time for me to do it and get a handle on my brain and how it works.
There’s just a lot more to ADHD/ADD than just a lack of focus or hyperactivity. As I am doing some research into, I am learning quite a bit. A lot of how I behave that can be explained and tide to my ADHD/ADD. More than I thought. I’m not trying to use any of it as an excuse. But it does explain quite a bit.
Although I am just starting to work on this blog and I’ve only begun to do some research, it has been beneficial so far. I have learned some things, and I’m sure there is more for me to learn and potentially share. So, this is my reason for doing this. My ADHD/ADD isn’t going away, and I should learn to adapt things to make it all work for me. So, I will continue to learn about it, grow with it, and hopefully keep sharing more information about it.
It’s time for me to just accept my ADD and work with it, instead of against it.

Thanks for reading.

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My Reasons

Happiness. Anger. Sadness. Content. Emotions. We all have them. It’s all part of being human. No matter who we are, we will have feelings. From the moment we are born until the day we die. This is a given. Absolutely normal. It’s something that a lot of us learn early on. How many of us have heard from others that it’s normal to feel the way we’re feeling? Many of us have probably heard this as toddlers from parents, grandparents, or whomever we were with at the time.

Yes, having feelings is normal and all part of being human. However, how ADHDers and ADDers feel is different from individuals without it. After all, our brain is different. So, it would make sense that our emotions and how we feel them may be different. Research has shown that individuals with ADHD/ADD feel their emotions a lot more intensely. It is a stronger emotion. This is something else that sets us apart from others.
Managing our emotions is another struggle that we have to deal with, and yet it is not something that is commonly discussed. When it comes to ADHD/ADD, we will talk about the inattentive, impulsive and hyperactive aspects, but not the intense emotions that ADHD/ADD must deal with, manage, and sometimes even struggle with. The strong and intense emotions is just mentioned as a potential symptom. However, it really should be mentioned.

I’ll admit that handling my emotions has been a struggle. My emotions can be so varied and change so quickly. One second, I might really happy, while the next, I’m really sad. I struggle with all of them. Yes, all of them. The good and the bad. Sometimes, when I’m happy, I do try hard to show it without necessarily running around like a giddy little girl. I have to stop myself from jumping up and down in a store or restaurant. I do struggle with controlling my anger. My family will attest to that. I don’t handle stress too well. I do sometimes get overwhelmed very easily. Weekday mornings aren’t always easy and can get overwhelming quite quickly. Especially with three kids that I have to get ready for school and daycare. A lot of those mornings I have to do it by myself. This is just a small picture of my emotional struggle.
And to be honest, the emotions I felt and the intensity of them, I thought was all normal. I know that we have emotions and I thought that how I felt them was how everyone felt them. I thought it was the same for everyone. I am finding out that I was wrong and that not everyone feels emotions as intently as I do. Not unless that person also has ADHD/ADD.
I’ll admit that having ADD hasn’t been easy in different ways. Emotionally being one of them. And it’s nice to find out that this is all part of having ADHD/ADD and that I’m not alone. That there are ways to deal with it.

The ADHD/ADD brain is different. Not only does it affect our ability to focus, or making impulsive decisions, or our ability to sit still. It affects our emotions and how we handle them. We know right from wrong. We know we shouldn’t be yelling at our boss, who gave us more work at the last minute. We know we shouldn’t. But sometimes we can’t always control how we handle our emotions and deal with this situation. The part of our brain that helps us control our anger in this kind of situation is not really there. The part that would stop us from yelling at our boss doesn’t function in the same way as someone without ADHD/ADD.

For ADHDers/ADDers, dealing with our emotions is like a roller coaster. It’s not easy. I am sure it’s not always easy for those who are close to us either. It’s a difficult situation.